When I first came to AA, I didn't understand what the term "on the fence" really meant. To truly recover from this disease, I must be committed to working the 12 Step Program of AA. Today I know that being "on the fence" is a dangerous place to be.

After years of trying to quit drinking on my own, I'm convinced that there is no easy or soft way to recover from the disease of alcoholism. I tried to control what I drank, where I drank and when I drank. Crossing the river of denial, and accepting that I was an alcoholic was the critical turning point in my recovery.

I have become happy, joyous and free by doing a few simple things. First, I had to be willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. After being beaten down by my disease, I was humble enough to follow the suggestions that are made at AA meetings. Some of the suggestions that were made when I came to AA were to go to meetings, get a sponsor, stay out of wet places, stick with the winners, read the Big Book and work the steps with a sponsor.

From my own experience, I can honestly say that staying "on the fence" was a miserable existence. It is the vital spiritual awakening that I received as a result of continuously working the 12 Steps that has given me the peace and serenity that I was searching for. To any of us who continue to suffer from this seemingly hopeless state of mind, I suggest: Try working the steps. It will help you to achieve the personal freedom that I have found.